The Shroud of Silence

This is something that I have noticed about myself and which others have noticed about me. It has been called my superpower, which is why I gave it a cool name. Basically this is something that I think most people do on occasion that is almost the default for me. The shroud of silence is that thing you do when you're upset about something or other and you adopt certain body language and mannerisms that indicate to others that you wish to be left alone.Since being around large numbers of people generally upsets me, I generally throw on the shroud as soon as I get to campus. In general it actually takes conscious effort for me to drop that so that I can actually communicate with others. Though my body language, I make myself "unavailable" to others. This one is pretty core to my overall problems, but unfortunately it's still more of a symptom than a cause. I keep myself unavailable because I'm afraid that people will find me strange or unlikable. I can attempt to communicate with others normally, but it's a struggle and I feel fake when I do it, and then just end up feeling like others MUST find me strange because of my clearly artificial socialization attempts. The trick is getting myself to believe that people don't just look at me and think I'm a terrible person.